The past year of my life has been a journey down the road of fitness and personal health. This is a subject matter that, until about 14 months ago, I never really concerned myself with. I was lucky enough to be blessed with a fast metabolism as a child. Sure I would sometimes go outside with my siblings and ride my bike or jump on the trampoline but exercise, sports or athletics were not something I ever had an active desire to participate in. I was encouraged by my parents to participate in music and art lessons and other great endeavors, but never really spent much time thinking about my body.
This is all good and well, until I move to college, quit watching my diet, turn 20 (which for me apparently was the magic age when EVERYTHING changed, including my metabolism) and pack on the freshmen 15 and then some. I had a bad run-in with some birth control that reacted negatively with my hormones, packing on more weight (and increasing my bra size by 3 sizes). I was overweight, unhappy, unhealthy and loathed the person I saw when I looked in the mirror. Everything about my life suffered from it. I pushed people away, emotionally reacted to any situation regarding my appearance and to deal with the stress and depression I ate even more. I felt that I had spiraled so far down this road that there was no solution. Exercise had never been something I had participated in and, believe me, I made every excuse I could to avoid it. (my boobs are too big, my family has bad knees, I don't have time, blah, blah, blah.) After seeing pictures of myself at family gatherings however, I told myself I had no choice. Something had to give.
Last spring I saw the documentary Food Inc and along with causing me to lose even more faith in our government and food industry, it changed the way I though about food. I began to realize that the quality of food I put into my body had a direct effect on the way I felt on a day to day basis. I made the decision to cut red meat and pork out of my diet. I added more fresh produce and cut out fast food. Trevor and I began taking evening walks together. Things started happening. I showed up to school in the fall and people noticed, I looked healthier. I thrived on that positive external input and it motivated me further.
A good friend of mine at the time offered to take me to the gym. She was so understanding and patient with me and I think I owe a lot of my good habits now to her support in the beginning. I wanted to make exercise a commitment and healthy habit in my day to day life, but so many times I would get excited, go for a week and then quit. I found a consistent time in my schedule that I could go to the gym, and on days when I didn't really feel like going I would just think to myself "10 minutes of cardio is better than none!". I learned to be gentle with myself. Expecting too much and being disappointed in myself was the quickest demotivator I experienced. Gradually my time on the elliptical increased. 7 minutes was all I could manage that first day at the gym and by the end of January I was spending 30 minutes on it, and lifting weights for 20. My arms started looking good. I focused on that, because it was the only part of my body I wasn't ashamed of. I would just stare at them in the mirror and flex. (tickets to the gun show, anyone?) By the end of the spring semester I had lost 2 pants sizes from the spring before. And I was ready to step up my game.
You know how the minute you say "I'll never do that!" that thing is EXACTLY what you are going to do? Well from the beginning of this exercise experience I told everyone "Running is so not my thing. I need something low impact for my knees and my boobs and...blah, blah, blah". Guess who out of the blue decided to step on a treadmill one sunny June day? Guess who loved it? Guess who is training for a 5k by Thanksgiving? I love the things I am learning from running. Am I a great runner? By no means. I'm not built like a runner at all...I have these stubby little legs and I feel like I've smoked for 20 years when I step off the treadmill...but I love it all the same. It has increased my breath support as a singer like no one can believe, it teaches mental toughness, it takes dedication and it makes exercise a lifestyle. It is still changing the way I look at myself and look at personal fitness.
I have been hesitant about making these things public...its hard to be honest about my faults, its hard to admit I had never actually exercised until I was 21 years old. Its even harder to publicly announce that I have this incredibly difficult goal that I may or may not achieve and it is now under scrutiny by whoever knows me and chooses to read this blog. But at the end of the day I am proud of myself and the progress I have made in the past year. I have reaped so many benefits from the hours I have logged in the gym and the discipline I have shown in my eating habits. Not only am I a smaller size (which, although it was the initial goal, seems to be the smallest of the benefits) singing has changed for me, breathing has changed for me, I feel happier all the time, I feel more energized, I feel more confident about the things that I want to achieve in my life, not just in my fitness. So if it was ever a doubt in anyone's mind, exercise works! And if you see me walking around all stoked about life, this is probably the reason why.
